Digging a Hole

The vet's office called yesterday to let us know Kitty's ashes were ready to be picked up. (Since we can't bury her, we opted for the ashes. At some point, we will probably spread them somewhere or bury them.) Emma wanted to know who had called. I hadn't yet figured out how I was going to explain the whole ashes thing. Is there any delicate way to explain it? She doesn't even like for trees to be cut down, I couldn't imagine how she would react to an explanation of the cremation of Kitty. :-/ She wouldn't let up, so I told her. I explained with as little words as possible in as close to 5 yr old language/understanding as I could. There really is no nice way to say it.....can't beat around the bush....it is what it is and it's a part of life. She seemed a little perplexed, but didn't ask a lot of questions.

About 15 minutes later, Matthew wanted to go outside. Once he was out there, he grabbed his shovel and started digging. He said he was digging a hole to bury Kitty's ashes. He was so intent. Every third or fourth time the shovel went over his shoulder, he'd say, "Gotta dig a hole for Kitty's ashes."

I don't know what Emma said to him, and I never did ask. He hasn't really said much about Kitty, except that she was his "favoritest cat to pet, because she doesn't bite me." He was always very gentle with her. He'd rub under her chin where she liked then lean over and give her a little kiss on the head between the ears. On the way to the vet's office this afternoon, he asked me if Kitty had been "fired." That is probably when I should have asked what Emma had told him. (I hadn't used the word fire with her.) But I didn't, because the tears were already threatening. I'm sure it won't be long before another opportunity arises for me to make sure he doesn't have any nightmarish visions going through his head.

This has nothing to do with this post, but I want you to see Matthew's "vein." You see that thing in his neck???
It has always been like that. Not so noticable when he's calm, but when he gets worked up about something.....there it is. When he was a baby and would have a little screaming fit, I just knew it was going to pop. REALLY! I would actually hold it down with my finger. My nurse friend laughed when I told her. She assured me it wouldn't pop, but I don't know..........